12 Toxic Thoughts and How to Avoid Them

We all develop negative and toxic attitudes at times and none of us are invulnerable to mood swings or thoughts that dampen our happiness. That doesn't mean you should surrender to them. Whether your negative attitude appears often or is a rare event, it is important for your long-term happiness that you manage to identify the thoughts that create it and what will change how you think. The 12 toxic and negative thoughts presented here pass through most of our minds, and it's best to know how to handle them, freeing ourselves to live a truly happy life.

1. "I may not be happy right now, but I know I will be happy in the future."

Instead of being thankful for having two working legs, a body that can do so many things and a brain that works all the time, many people complain about their weight and their looks. Instead of being thankful for the roof over our heads, many people pray for a shiny new car. Don't be those people. You may not have everything now, but you have plenty. To see that, just make a list of things to be thankful for. The world is full of people who would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Do not wait for happiness later when you can have it now. It is all about appreciating what you DO have.

2. "Happiness depends on great moments and specific circumstances."

For some, chasing happiness is not the same as being happy. For those who chase, happiness is always just out of reach, and only occurs during special, specific moments. There's nothing wrong with enjoying some sunshine or the chirping of birds, but one must separate happy moments with being a happy person. Happy moments pass because time always passes and it's unavoidable. We expect to be happy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, wanting a life where every action is rewarded. However, this kind of attitude only leads to disappointment and changing moods.

If you are serious about being happy, then chasing it is a bit more complicated. It is not always about momentary thrills and instant gratification. This is not a game of tag, but more of a 'hide and seek'. The goal is to live a life that is meaningful to YOU. It starts with you asking yourself: "Why do I do what I do every day?" When that answer gives you meaning and joy, then you will have found your happiness.

3. "Every step I take, for myself and for others, must be logical."

If we only ever listened to our logic, we would lose our passions, our sense of romance and probably some of the long-standing friendships we have with others. We would be stuck thinking we are going to fail at everything we do, that we will end up getting hurt. But that is nonsense, because if we truly lived out lives that way, we would not be living at all!

If you shape your every action so it seems logical to you or to others, you may feel 100% safe from acting a fool, but will spend your whole life waiting for something to happen. Sometimes you just need to try new things and take risks. Sometimes you just need to get up and do what feels right to you. A man did not invent the plane because flying made sense, he invented it because he had a passion, and not only that, because he wanted to do something completely illogical and make it come true.

4. "I am not good enough to do this."

When you find yourself in a circle of self-hate, you must remember that you were not born this way. At some point in your past, someone or something sent you the message that something is wrong with you, and you have internalized that lie and accepted it as the truth. But it is not a lie you should carry on your back, and those that judge you are not you, so what do they know about what you can and cannot do?

In the same way that you learned to see yourself in a negative light, so you can learn to see yourself in a positive one. Every time you feel this inadequacy, see it as a challenge and prove to yourself and to others that you have self-respect and that no one has control over what you can and cannot do. It would not be easy, and it would not happen overnight, but it is possible with enough practice. It starts when you give yourself a break, and consider the possibility that you CAN do anything.

5. "Everyone should love me."

People who are constantly on the hunt for other people's approval eventually wear others out. They are stuck with the desperate need to prove their worth, time after time, always trying to get positive attention from the people around them. Ironically, they often get the opposite result, because they suck the energy of others trying to get their attention and end up annoying them. Even worse, they exhaust themselves in the process, and eventually become frustrated and angry because they couldn't get what they wanted.

There is a much bigger picture at which to look in life, and there's much more for which to strive than other people's approval. Imagine yourself living completely alone, without seeing anyone. What would make you happy then? What would you do?

If you want people to love you, help them. Give them the love you wish you got. They may not always give it back, but it will help you find happiness in giving rather than receiving.

6. "I've seen and heard it all."

No matter how much you know, how much you've learned or how many experiences you've been through, this life is much too complicated for anyone to be able to say that. Every day is a chance for a surprise, and you should never think that you are done learning. We learn every day, from the moment we're born to the moment we close our eyes for the last time. Keep an open mind, because often the things we thought we knew end up giving us some valuable new lessons.

7. "I need to be in control."

Imagine you are driving your car and get stuck in traffic. There's nothing you can do but to be patient. Yet, that does not stop most of us from changing lanes, trying to bypass other cars or even, in desperate cases, drive on the other side of the road. These are all attempts to regain control over a situation that we simply cannot change. This leads to frustration and when we finally do get to where we were going - we already feel negative and frustrated which may cause us to take it out on others or just make ourselves feel worse.

Accept the fact that sometimes we have no control over what happens to us, but remember that no matter what happens and no matter what the result is, it will all work out in the end. Do not sacrifice your present for a future you fear. Let go and let life happen, investing your energy in the good things you can control in spending time with your loved ones.

8. "I have been hurt so bad that I'll never recover."

Pain and loss is a big part of life, and keeping them fresh in our memory only causes them to last longer. One of the hardest things to do in this world is to let go of the pain that we both hate and jealously keep, whether that pain comes from guilt, anger or tragic loss. Sometimes forgetting and letting go is the only choice that can cure us and release us, emotionally, from memories we use to haunt ourselves.

It is not easy letting go, it takes hard work and focus, but it is worth the effort when you feel that weight lift from your shoulders. Stop reading old chapters in your book of life and start making some new ones. Learn from your past mistakes and move forward. Sure, there will be new mistakes to make, but that is part of living a meaningful life.

9. "Everything that happens is personally connected to me."

It's easy to believe that everything that happens around us is somehow connected to us personally. It is easy to believe you are unloved or unwanted when people seem angry or unfriendly. But the truth is most people make their choices based on what they're going through themselves, and it rarely has anything to do with you personally. Someone might have a bad day, and we all have our own problems and struggles to overcome. Do not take things personally and understand that every person around you is just trying to find their own way through bad and good days. 

10. "I am better than other people."

Be humble. Admit your mistakes and know when to ask for forgiveness. Ask others for their help and remember those to whom you owe your success. This constant act of comparing yourself to others will only bring you frustration and anger. It is a thought that we use as a shield to prove to ourselves we have worth. You DO have worth, and so does every other person. Realize that and compare yourselves only to the person you see in the mirror.

Remember, climb a mountain not so people can look at you, but so you can look at the world.

11. "What they don't know won't hurt them."

We all tell little white lies now and again. But even the simplest little lie can cause us stress and anxiety in the long run. In fact, it is quite terrifying to think that most people are more surprised by honesty than they are by lies. The one thing that unites people the most is being open and honest with each other; helping others see the world the way it is instead of selling them illusions.

Most importantly, do not lie for the sake of your own mental health. It is such an easier life when you're simply being honest and have nothing to hide.

12. "I just do not have time for my family and friends."

Neglect is almost as bad as abuse to some people. You may feel a little regret now, but you'll feel a lot more of it later on in life, when most people wished they had worked less and made more time for their loved ones. And when we lose one of our dear friends or a family member, we feel as if we would give anything for just one more hour, even a few minutes, with them again. Think about that when you look at them, every moment is precious. Spend it well.

Take the time to have a really good conversation with a member of your family every once in a while. Share with them, be honest with them and above all - give them your attention. Life is too short not to spend it with those we love. Make the right choices so you don't regret them later.

A few more words...

If you notice some of these behaviors and thoughts in yourself, remember that you are not alone. We all have a negative side buried deep within us, and it has the potential of bubbling up to the surface when we least expect it. The key is your own awareness, so identify the toxic thoughts and behaviors when they happen and stop them in time. Remember these tips and live your life the way you're supposed to - happy.

Mahesh Bhatt

15 Honest Questions the person you marry should be able to answer

Marriage really is a beautiful thing. I used to think it was a bit pointless, just a piece of paper that allows you an extra tax cut. However, the more I thought about it, the more I learned to appreciate what marriage could be. Marriage gets a bad rap because most people are really bad at it. It is not marriage’s fault. It is the couples’ fault for being neither mature enough nor smart enough to manage.

I used to believe people could not possibly promise to love someone else in 10, 20 years when neither their partners nor they will be the same people they are now. But that is the point. We know that the future is filled with uncertainty. Regardless, we still want that promise because it gives us courage to give ourselves to another without reservations. You may not be able to keep that promise, but you can keep the promise to do your best to be an amazing life partner. That’s all anyone can really ask for. If you are thinking about tying the knot, then, be sure that your future life partner to-be can honestly answer these questions to your liking:

1. Why do you love me?

People seem to feel this is a question that does not especially need answering. Most will say we love others simply because we love them—a horrible answer. All people need to know exactly why it is that they love the people they love. Loving someone is a very selfish act, and it’s okay. You love the person you love for what that person does for you and how he or she makes you feel. We may all have slightly different answers as to why we love someone, but if we are not able to exactly define the parameters of our love, then, we are likely to struggle later on once the initial intensity dies down. If your partner can not answer why he or she loves you now then imagine the inevitable uncertainty down the road.

2. Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?

“Because I love you” is not a good answer. Life is a journey—one that is best not traveled entirely alone. However, not everyone has the same destination in mind. Wanting to take different pit stops along the route is one thing. Wanting different things out of life is another entirely. Your partner should be able to tell you what life experiences he or she hopes to share with you. It is these little goals you set for yourselves that make your life special.

3. Will you do your best to keep the romance alive?

Keeping the romance alive is not an easy task. Yes, it is all mental, but keeping interest for such a long time is difficult. It takes a lot of work and creativity. It takes the other person regularly trying to please and impress you, which in itself becomes increasingly difficult with each New Year. Romantic love cannot survive on its own because both of you are going to have to maintain it constantly. Is your partner willing to keep the romance as one of his or her main priorities?

4. Will you grow with me, and not away from me?

We may not know exactly where our lives will take us and what we will learn—who we will become—along the way, but we can make a conscious effort to grow closer together and not apart. Most people grow apart over the years because they feel like they’ve accomplished everything in their relationships that needs accomplishing.
This is one main reason marriages end up being so horrible—people think that there is no greater peak to climb than the one their relationship is already resting on. Marriage shouldn’t be the end, it should be the beginning.

5. Will you stick through the rough times?

The good times are a piece of cake. The difficult times, however, will destroy your relationship if you allow them to. There comes a point in every relationship when you have to make a decision. It’s a decision that, if made, is only made once. You will reach a point where you will either decide you are going to be there for this person for the rest of his or her life, or not. If you decide you’re going to stick with this person then you can’t allow any tragedy or outside force to shake that decision. This is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives—or, as it often turns out, fail to make decisively. Has your lover made the decision? Have you?

6. Are you willing to lose some battles in order to keep the peace?

The key to a successful marriage is taming your ego. No matter how competitive we are, sometimes you just need to pick your battles. Sometimes the arguments and the stress just aren’t worth it. What you need to understand is that 99 percent of arguments aren’t arguments over fact, but rather over opinion. An opinion is neither right nor wrong. Sometimes you just have to let things be.

7. Can you promise to put us ahead of everything else?

Life has a lot to offer. And if you’re anything like me, you have a very large appetite. We want everything life has to offer, and then some. The problem is we do not have enough time to have it all because our lives are too short. We can only pick a few things we consider important and do our best to flourish in those areas. The beauty of marriage is that it can be used as a base to build the rest of your life on. Your partner should be just that: your partner. Your relationship is the most important thing in your life because it’s what makes the rest of your life possible.

8. Will you be a great parent?

Again, how could anyone know he or she will be a great parent? Easy, you just decide you are going to be and that’s it. No tricks, no gimmicks, just a decision and then action.
Some things do not need too much thinking involved. You are going to be great because you decided you will be. Will your lover do the same and be a great role model for your children?

9. Will you be sure to remind me how much you love me regularly?

People not only want, but need to hear it. We need to be reminded you love us because we know that love does not always last forever. We want to hear the words and then have that reassurance reinforced with actions showing how much you love us. It really is enough just to love us, but understand you need to love us the way we need to be loved—just like we need to love you the way you need to be loved in order for you to be happy.

10. Can you promise to do all you can to keep that spark alive?

Think about how a lighter works. You have a spark that lights the fuel, which creates a flame. But how does that spark, spark? You have to create a force that will result in the energy creating a spark. Just the same, you can’t expect sparks to keep flying if you are not trying. If you want to have a happy and healthy marriage, then you need to find someone willing to devote the necessary energy.

11. Will you support me if I cannot support myself?

Not just financially, but mentally. May be even physically if necessary. No one knows what life holds. The unexpected happens, often leaving us weak, hurt or even permanently damaged. Will your partner carry you when you cannot walk? Will your partner support you when you are weak at the knees? Will your partner carry the family you have created until you regain your strength? Is your partner capable of mustering the strength to fight battles for the both of you?

12. Will you promise to continue to pursue your personal goals and dreams?

Marriage is not entirely the end of the person you were and the start of a new you. Sure, being in a serious relationship does require a person to change in many ways.
Yet, there is a part of us we can never, under any circumstance, let go of. The dreams, wants and hopes we have—our personal goals—must stay alive. When we lose them, we lose ourselves and inevitably lose the person we love. Marriage is not just an “us.” It’s also a “you and him/her”. You have to juggle being the person you have always been with being a part of a larger whole. It is not easy. But it is necessary.

13. Will you not allow yourself to let go?

Will your partner take care of him or herself by eating healthy and exercising? Will your partner get regular checkups and take vitamins? This may sound silly, but I have seen what letting your own self go can do to a marriage. Moreover, I have seen how not maintaining your health can make the lives of those closest to you incredibly difficult. Yes, your family should take care of you when you need to be taken care of—but it is your responsibility first and foremost to take care of yourself. No people should become a burden to those they love.

14. If I am the first to go, will you be there with me until the end?

Will your partner hold your hand when you are too weak to hold it back? Will your partner kiss your forehead and tell you he or she loves you, that you made life worth living? That, because of you, life made sense? Will your partner be there for your last breath, when you find yourself pressed betwixt fear and content? No one should leave this world alone. It is said that we leave it the way we come into it, but even when we come into it, there’s someone there to hold us. I understand most people do not like to think about death, but seeing as it is inevitability, it is better to plan ahead.

15. Can you promise me that if my time is cut short, you’ll continue to live on for the both of us?

You love this person. You want him or her to be happy regardless of whether he or she is with you or without you. If death collects you ahead of schedule, you’ll want to know during those last few seconds that the person you love will continue to live life to the fullest.
That your partner will continue to do great things, continue to be happy, and—if you have children—continue to love your children and guide them through life. The death of a loved one can ruin you. It can break you in ways that make full-recovery impossible. Can your partner promise you to find the strength and courage to press forward?
I do not know about you, but the last thing I would want for the woman I love is for my departure to be her downfall. If my being in her life or leaving her life will in anyway destroy hers, then I clearly made a mistake by allowing myself into her life.

Mahesh Bhatt

13 Crazy Facts about the Common Cold:

13 Crazy Facts about the Common Cold:

The Dangers of Drinking From Plastic Bottles:

The Dangers of Drinking From Plastic Bottles:

We all use plastic bottles now and again, whether we want to or not. They're simply everywhere - at the shops, in diners, at events and even in our kitchen. We often use the same bottles again and again instead of throwing them into the recycling bin, seeing more value in reusing them.

The question is: Are we taking a risk with our health when we do so? It appears that, in certain cases, the answer is yes. There are 3 things you need to know before you refill that plastic bottle of water:

1. Bacteria can thrive in a bottle of water.

While a one-time use of a bottle of water (as manufacturers declare it should only be) won't harm you, you're tempting your fate if you decide to drink from it again. Studies have shown that prolonged use of the same plastic bottle causes it to scratch and crack, and it is inside these little scratches and cracks that bacteria can thrive, just like on your cutting board.

You must thoroughly clean your cutting board after each use, and if you plan on filling up your plastic bottle for another use, you should clean it as well. Do so with lukewarm water and soap. Of course, this cleaning will probably cause more damage to the bottle. Remember, they weren't made for reuse, and so they were not made to resist the various cleaning materials.

It's also important to remember that the bacteria in the water bottle can get through to your mouth, so if you aren't rinsing your bottle, it acquires many bacteria that live in water, turning your bottle into a real Petri dish.

A study performed at the University of Calgary found that water bottles used by elementary school age children over and over again without being cleaned contained a much higher amount of bacteria than should be in our drinking water. One cause for that is that the bottle sat in room temperature most of the day, which is a perfect temperature for bacteria to thrive in. Putting the bottle in the fridge or the freezer will dramatically decrease the number of bacteria in the bottle.

Even plastic bottles that are reusable need to be washed with lukewarm water and soap, because they can also accumulate scratches and bacteria, even if they probably accumulate less than a disposable one. As a rule, all plastic bottles are hard to clean without leaving scratches, and if you are using plastic bottles more than once - wash them often.

It's better to use plastic bottles designed for reuse

2. Cleaning the bottles can cause a chemical leak

You'll notice I only recommend using lukewarm water to wash the bottles, with a strong emphasis on lukewarm. Using very hot water to clean the bottle (perhaps thinking to sterilize it), is a bad idea, especially if you're using single-use bottles. Experts believe that washing disposable bottles with hot water or in the dishwasher is a recipe for disaster, because the plastic they use to make these bottles is not made to withstand such heat. When it does heat up, there's a chance that dangerous chemicals will leak from the plastic and into the liquid inside the bottle.

                                             
Reusable plastic bottles are made of tougher plastic, and are supposed to withstand higher temperatures without a problem. However, there is no safe way to completely remove all the dangers of using a plastic product for a long period of time. The best protection against chemical leaks is to drink your water from glass or stainless steel bottles. Even then, you'll need to wash and dry them properly, otherwise they too will become infested with bacteria.

3. Most of the bacteria in the bottle are found around the opening

Bacteria are mostly found near the opening of the bottle because our mouth itself contains bacteria, and also because of the way the cap is screwed on it, creating a perfect place for bacteria to thrive.

In a recent study, participants were instructed to drink from the same bottle for a week without washing it. At the end of the week, a small sample was taken from the opening of the bottle. What they found was disconcerting, to say the least. The bacteria found were the same kind that cause food poisoning, and in huge amounts.

If the participants in the study had continued to drink from the same bottle, they probably would have developed symptoms of nausea, diarrhea and even vomiting. The only way of preventing this kind of bacteria from flourishing in our bottles is to keep washing them properly. With disposable ones, however, I'd recommend keeping it that way and only use it once.

In any case, the cap of your bottle will always carry some bacteria, as it touches your hands as well. You can also drink from the bottle without touching it with your lips, letting the water flow right into your mouth.

Stainless steel bottles are preferable to plastic bottles

  

What's the bottom line?

As mentioned, avoid using single-use bottles more than once. Throw them into the recycling bin or repurpose them yourself into something you can use. Even plastic bottles meant to be reused are not recommended and you'd be better off using stainless steel ones. Of course these must be regularly washed with lukewarm water and soap, just like any other kitchen tool. Please share this information with as many people as you can. It's very healthy to drink a lot of water, but when it's filled with bacteria, you may do yourself more harm than good.

Mahesh Bhatt

It is not just a tribute to PARSIS but is a lesion to learn for every Indian:

Kindly circulate. Let it reach to all those who are already minority and to all those who are still asking for minority status….

Parsis are just 0.1% of total population or maybe even less..........YET.........
They never asked for minority status...
They never asked for reservations...
They never fought with Indian Government...
They never felt threatened by Hindus or Muslims...
They never throw bombs or stones or damage public property...
They never indulge in crimes or run the underworld...
All they do is to contribute mightily to the progress of India...

They gave us the best.....

Mr. Dadabhoy Naoroji...

Mr. Firozshah Mehta....

Mr. Bhikaji Cama...Mr. Ratan Tata...

Mr. Adi Godrej...

Mr. Cyrus Mistry...

Mr. Homi Bhabha...

Mr. Zubin Mehta...

Mr. Nari Contractor...

Mr. Farokh Engineer...

Mr.Soli Sorabjee...

Ms. Persis Khambata...

Ms. Daizy Irani...

Mr. Homi Wadia...

Mr. Rustom Karanjia...

Mr. Dinshaw Petit...

Mr. Shapurji Pallonji...

Mr. Rusy Mody...

Mr. Boman Irani...

Ms.Perizad Zorabian...

Mr. Cyrus Poonawala...

Mr. Shyamak Dawar...

Mr. Cyrus Bharucha...

Ms. Bachi Karkaria...

Mr. Busybee...

Mr. Keki Mistry...

Mr. Bejan Daruwala...

Mr. Mehraboon Irani....

the list is endless, and above all, the 1 & only Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw!!

Parsis are the best gift by Almighty to India, and each one of us Indians should love & respect them...They are beautiful People...A beautiful and dignified Race....

I wish we had more of the Parsis who could teach our other greedy minorities as to what minority really means......

It means NOT to be parasite or a leech on the host country...It means to give, NOT to take...

All those who are asking for minority status, then and today, ought to be ashamed of them.

You owe a lot to this nation. Pay back, rather than asking from nation.

Mr. Ratan Tata honored as one of the Greatest Global Living Indians. One of India's flagship groups is built on his code of ethics. From Nano to Jaguar, Ratan Tata's drive is that of a Living Legend.

Mahesh Bhatt